Effects of Substance Abuse on Children
Children of all ages suffer when a parent abuses alcohol or drugs. Even if you were always home physically, your children experienced a psychological or emotional absence when you abused drugs or alcohol. You may have neglected or abused your children, or allowed them to be neglected or abused by someone else. Typically, children of all ages experience confusion, fear, worry, sadness, and anger—but children show and express their feelings differently.
Children who were neglected or abused might not have learned basic things like how to brush their teeth properly, how to groom themselves, table manners, and how to make and keep friends. They might have learned to hoard food or other items if there was not enough to eat, or if their things were taken away in order for a parent to get drugs or alcohol. Older children might have learned to take care of themselves, their younger siblings, and/or you. They might be used to playing the role of the caregiver and not be ready to give up that role now that you are in recovery.
These children and teens may distrust authority figures because they have learned from experience to expect disappointment from parents. Others have an excessive need to be in control in order to balance out the chaos in their lives. Or they may constantly need approval, to reassure themselves that they have value. Some become aggressive. The very secret nature of the substance abuse may have given your child little experience with making friends, so later these children and teens may have difficulty with intimate relationships.
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