Adolescent Development
“In our culture, in children we value dependence, obedience and a lack of sexual interactions with others. However, we expect adults to be independent, responsible for their own actions and able to form meaningful sexual relationships with another adult. Adolescence is the process of changing from one set of expectations to the other. It does not happen overnight. It does not happen smoothly. Not only the young person, but also the adults living with him, find themselves caught up in this period of rapid change with it’s accompanying stress.” (Working with Adolescence OACAS March 2002)
Children develop and make changes in several different areas during this period of adolescence. The areas for development include: physical, cognitive, social, moral, emotional and attachment.
It is important to remember that the period of development referred to as adolescence begins and ends imprecisely, starting just before the teenage years and ending just after them. This time may call on parents to change their method of discipline/dealing with their children. This period of adolescence calls for more suggesting / less telling and more negotiation. Parents are called on to recognize those areas that they have control over and differentiate those from the areas that they may only influence. Parents need to tell their children the risks associated with their behaviour and that the behaviour is not acceptable (set the ground rules) and allow the child to take it from there. Remember that one of the areas of development is “cognitive functioning”. They are learning the balance of power, control and responsibility. This task is only one of 53 skills your child needs to learn between the ages of eight and fifteen. This task requires some conflict and challenge to achieve and often comes across as rude behaviour.
Remember that it is not the existence of the behaviour that is the problem, but the persistence of the behaviour that is problematic. When in doubt there are several professionals who are available to help. Some of theses people include your family physician, Child and Youth Wellness Centre and your local Family and Children’s Services.
CAS Response to Parent/Adolescent conflict:
Should you choose to contact the Society you can expect an intake worker to talk to you about normal adolescent development and a parent’s response to such. The Society may assist you by assigning a worker to complete an assessment. The assessment will facilitate referrals to other community organizations or indicate that the situation is such that ongoing services from the Society are warranted. The policy of the Society is not to remove children from their primary residence due to concerns of parent/child conflict. Studies have demonstrated that such conflict is best resolved while maintaining the children within their family.